Why midlife women walk out of corporate jobs
Laetitia@Work #67
Hi everyone,
For women, age is always an issue at work. Too young, they can’t be taken seriously. In their thirties, they’ll be discriminated against because they can get pregnant. Those who have children suffer the motherhood penalty. In their mid-forties, they’ll already be deemed “too old”. Eventually, the few of them who remain in the corporate world beyond menopause will be in the minority because the toxic mix of ageism and sexism will have discouraged many of those who hadn’t already left because they couldn’t juggle caregiving and working full-time.
It’s surprising how little interest the discrimination suffered by women over 50 (even 45) generates in the corporate world. It’s hardly even measured. Yet, of all the types of discrimination out there, ageism is felt most painfully by the people concerned. It’s high time diversity and inclusion programmes took better care of ageing women!
There are at least two fundamental reasons why women over 50 should be better nurtured and put at the heart of diversity and inclusion programmes. First, there are so many of them: they really represent the most untapped and promising pool of workers to recruit from in the future. Second, every young woman is an older woman in the making (if she survives) so minding the intersection between age and gender will help every woman feel more secure!
So many women over 50 disappear from the corporate world even though they have so much to give. What an immeasurable waste for the economy! To be fair, it’s not entirely wasted because many of them channel their energy and ambition into their own companies. In short, if I had to put it in one sentence, I’d say that women in their 50s and 60s are not just the fastest-growing demographic group, they are quite literally the future of work.
That’s the main message in Lucy Ryan’s remarkable book Revolting Women. Why Midlife Women Are Walking Out. Here are some thoughts (partly) inspired by Ryan’s book on why women over 50 walk out of corporate jobs. 💡👇
A monumental waste for companies and a poverty problem for women
Most CEOs are middle-aged and older. Also, most are men. The older you get, the fewer women there are in corporations. Indeed, women are relatively more numerous at the bottom of the pyramid. As one ascends, they "disappear". Not only is their talent not fully appreciated, but as they age within the company, they may be perceived as potential rivals. When they are not promoted, many of them leave the company in frustration.
There are several reasons why women "disappear" from the company. First, the organisation demands sacrifices from them that their caregiver role (towards their parents or in-laws, for example) does not allow them to maintain in the middle of their lives. Secondly, the discrimination that combines sexism and ageism is particularly toxic for them. Those who remain (those who "survive") sometimes have successful careers, but they often find themselves quite alone up there.
Yet women over 50 have so much talent and energy to spare! Today this talent and energy remain largely untapped by companies, which represents a waste of monumental proportions.
If it were just a loss for corporations, we could probably live with it. But it also comes with a lot of female poverty in old age. Years spent working part-time, parental leaves, career gaps and lost promotions translate to precariousness in old age.
The gender pay gap (whereby women are paid less than men for similar work) is widely acknowledged. But too little attention is given to the gender pension gap, the fact that women receive significantly lower pensions than men when they retire (and they retire later). Women face challenges both when it comes to private pensions and workplace pensions. In the UK, the gap is estimated to be 40.5%. In some OECD countries, like Germany, the gap is well above 40%.
The toxic mix of ageism and sexism
Susan Sontag already wrote about the double standard of aging more than 50 years ago! And it seems that, sadly, very little has changed since she wrote this iconic article. In her book Revolting Women, Lucy Ryan writes:
Much of what we dread about ageing is actually the result of ageism, which we can, and should, battle as strongly as we do racism, sexism, and other forms of bigotry. (...)
The research is very clear. As men age, they are viewed as more competent and valuable in the workplace; as women age, they lose their credibility with every new wrinkle. The message is consistent: Looks matter. Age matters. (...)
Serious amounts of time, money and energy are expended on looking and acting young, staying innovative and distancing themselves from any ageing stereotypes. (...)
The conclusion is that the older female body is both invisible — in that it is no longer seen _ and hypervisible — in that it is all that is seen.
The toxic mix is in fact a drag on women of all ages. It creates a toxic distance between younger and older women. It makes even young women develop a fear of ageing that can turn into an obsession. And women waste so much time and money struggling to appear younger! (I plan to write a future newsletter on what the fear of ageing costs all of us.)
As with periods and childbirth, active women are once again reduced to their bodies with menopause. It's heartening that menopause is now a subject of activism and that the taboos surrounding it are slowly being broken. But the downside is that these narratives are often anxiety-inducing and negative. They paint a picture of menopausal women that can be used against them. Yet, memory lapses (foggy brain), hot flashes, and depressive symptoms are not so dramatic. Not all women experience these symptoms. They don't always last. And most importantly, they don't prevent women from being effective or ambitious in their careers. It's the treatment of menopausal women that is the real issue, not menopause itself. I'm careful not to portray menopause as the cause of all 50+ women's workplace problems. The main issues are discrimination, harassment, lack of flexibility and autonomy, and lack of respect for their work, not menopause per se.
Many women over 50 are caregivers
Popular culture highlights the “empty nest” syndrome. But the truth is that a majority of women in their fifties (and often sixties) are caregivers. They still have children, teenagers or young adults at home, some of whom face mental health problems. Sometimes their partner faces a long-term disease (cancer, for example). Often, one or more of their parents or in-laws has a debilitating disease or dementia. The idea that women over 50 have more free time is simply (mostly) wrong. It’s probably more the exception than the norm.
Middle-aged people tend to have parents who are alive, with fewer siblings to share the caregiving. (...) Women are having children at later stages, so their parents are older whilst their children are still young. Support for children might last longer than that of their parents’ generation, often reaching into their early and mid-20s as they acquire further learning or struggle to get on the property ladder. Alongside this, not only has the time we spend being married shrunk, but also fewer adults remarry, leading to a higher proportion living in single person households. (...) What my statistics show is that later motherhood, encouraged by companies and denigrated by society at large, is the reality of a huge percentage of women’s lives. (Lucy Ryan)
In short, these women face a heavy burden of care that puts their career in jeopardy and they receive very little support. They are expected to have lots of free time but they don’t really do. Unpaid work falls heavily on their shoulders, so much so that there is often too little time left for paid work. Sadly there’s a form of hypocrisy when it comes to the care they give.
Society at large is turning a very convenient blind eye to the extent of the problem of caring, and how this is ramped up for the midlife woman. This unpaid care work is variously called the care economy, the core economy of the reproductive economy. I like to call it the hypocrisy economy, that is when people talk about empowering women, because they now also work outside the home in the paid economy, in addition to taking care of their children, parents and home, without any systemic attempt to encourage men to take more responsibility.
The problem isn’t just all the paid work women are prevented from doing because of unpaid work, it’s also that their careers are sabotaged. When they don’t work full-time they are assumed to lack ambition and therefore not given interesting work. When they have gaps in their CVs they aren’t taken seriously. So long as ambition and power remain associated with full-time work and linear careers, the best jobs will continue to be reserved to people who aren’t caregivers (among them a majority of men).
It’s not all gloom and doom
There are many women over 50 and they are “revolting”. Revolting Women is the title of Lucy Ryan’s book for a reason. They harbour a treasure trove of energy, creativity, and innovation that won’t go to waste forever. Many of these women have lots of ambition. In fact, after menopause, a lot of them say they experience a kind of “rebirth”. After years spent under the glass ceiling (not promoted enough, not adequately valued, too absorbed by family life and children), they develop a kind of fierce energy to make up for lost time, to achieve more, to reap the rewards that haven't yet been reaped.
Businesses don't know how to recruit and value them? Women over 50 are turning massively to entrepreneurship and freelancing. When it comes to business creation, they represent the demographic group with the fastest-growing rate. Forbes calls them “the new entrepreneurial superpower”. Sure, many of the companies they found remain very small and they face as many challenges as with corporate jobs. But some of the companies they create go far. Their success paves the way for future success. What’s certain is that women over 50 succeed at entrepreneurship better than if they were younger. In short, maturity is good for business! 💪
🚀 📣 Together with Caroline Taconet and Katerina Zekopoulos, we’re launching a new PODCAST!! It’s called Vieilles en puissance. The project is at the intersection of three themes: age, money, and women.
Throughout their lives, women encounter obstacles that impoverish them and widen the gap with men: part-time work, glass ceiling, discrimination, unpaid labour, motherhood penalty, economic violence, caregiving, stereotypes, etc.
How can you avoid falling into poverty as you age? And how do you reconcile with future (old) you as well as get close to the old women around us, learn to love them, care for them, allow them to care for you, and inspire you? How do we become powerful together?
👉 SUBSCRIBE NOW TO THE VIEILLES EN PUISSANCE NEWSLETTER!
💡Check out the latest articles I wrote for Welcome to the Jungle: Is a world without work (really) possible? (in English), Épuisement de l'ego : plus vous prenez de décisions, moins elles sont bonnes !, L’autocensure : la face cachée du quiet quitting ?, Ce que vos toilettes révèlent de votre entreprise !, Managers : comment le biais d'autorité entérine le statu quo dans votre équipe (in French).
🎙️ The new season of the Nouveau Départ podcast has started! Éloge du bricolage (with Fanny Lederlin), L’équipe, cet animal fantastique (with Vanina Lanfranchi), Toilettes publiques : histoire et politique (with Julien Damon)… 🎧 (in 🇫🇷)
👉 Subscribe to receive our future podcasts directly in your inbox!
🎙️ I’ve recorded other podcasts! An episode of Work buddies with Samuel Durand: Comment bien networker quand on n’a pas de mémoire. An episode of a podcast called Normalize: Représenter les “vieilles” : tabous, stéréotypes et opportunités 🎧 (in 🇫🇷)
Miscellaneous
😇 How to Apologize Like You Mean It, Jancee Dunn, The New York Times, February 2024: “research suggests that apologies can benefit the giver as well as the receiver by reducing guilt, fostering self-compassion and strengthening relationships. But not all apologies are equal. For a show of remorse to be truly effective, it should be focused on the other person’s feelings and needs, not your own…”
🇮🇪 Ireland’s women need equality – not tokenistic referendums or panic about throuples, Dearbhail McDonald, The Guardian, February 2024: “Removing an archaic reference to women in the home, recognising the role of carers and embracing the reality of modern family life are important aspirations. And a constitutional something is better than nothing. For those reasons, the referendums are likely to pass, albeit with a whimper rather than a bang. But they are no substitute for the comprehensive structural, cultural, economic and legal changes needed to value unpaid care work, tackle gender inequality in the labour market and drive deep societal shifts that lead to less misogyny and more male participation in caring and housework.”
May the force be with you as you age! ⭐💪