The Worry Gap: why women worry so much more

Laetitia@Work #62

Hi everyone,

I worry all the time about a lot of things. Most of the time it’s about everyday stuff (children, paperwork, deadlines, money, food, supplies…), often about actual concerns (family- and health-related). When I forget about personal (often selfish) worries, I allow myself to worry about the big stuff (death, global warming, drought, fascism, my children’s future). There’s so much worry in me that there’s almost constantly a gnawing sensation in my stomach (you can imagine the impact of this on the digestive system). 

It turns out I’m not the only woman afflicted with acute, debilitating worrying. There are men too, of course, but statistically women are disproportionately more likely to suffer from it. Let’s call this the Worry Gap. At work or at home, those who tend to do most of the worrying are female. They suffer more from stress and anxiety. And it affects their mental health worryingly.

Drawing by Caroline Taconet

Recent (UK) research suggests women are twice as likely as men to express extreme worry levels since the pandemic. Men died more from Covid, but women clearly have borne a greater brunt of the pandemic’s secondary effects. The pandemic left them with an aftertaste that refuses to go away. Prior to that, there was less discrepancy between the worry levels of women and men, says the study. It exacerbated one of the main worries about the health and well-being of loved ones (children, parents, friends, spouse). 

As everybody’s mental health is clearly worse now (also see this piece about the US mental health crisis), it increases the worry levels of people who look after others (disproportionately women), which in turn increases the mental health crisis because worrying fuels it. In 2022, approximately half of women (52%) reported being extremely worried about their parents' health, compared to just one-third of men (32%). Similarly, women expressed significantly more concern about their children's well-being.

Worrying is not quite like doing chores: it doesn’t have to be done. Or does it? What are the reasons (evolutionary or otherwise) for the Worry Gap? Worrying seems pretty useless, sterile even. It sucks joy and energy out of life with very little to show for it. What’s the point of it? Here are some thoughts on the subject 💡👇

Women’s health at work has deteriorated because of increased worrying

A 2023 French study by Malakoff Humanis reveals that 44% of female employees report poorer psychological health (compared to 32% of men), a situation that has worsened dramatically compared to 2022 (40%). As many as 55% of female employees suffer from psychological disorders, compared to 45% of men. This has a lot to do with the fact that a lot of women’s jobs consist in caring for others. Women represent the overwhelming majority of domestic, healthcare and social workers. So they face the suffering of others head-on. When this suffering increases, their worry grows, and their own health deteriorates. It's a very feminine vicious circle.

As a result, women also experience illness and absenteeism at work more frequently. (A couple of months ago I published this article in French on the subject). Companies are not always aware of this gap. There isn't enough gender-specific data on workplace health. Moreover, the risks and challenges in female-dominated professions are less well understood and protected. For example, there is less prevention regarding musculoskeletal disorders among care workers. Additionally, the illnesses that affect them the most receive less effective treatment and lower reimbursement. (See “Women drop $15 billion more annually on medical expenses than men. How employers can fix the covert health insurance ‘pink tax’”) Women's workplace health issues are more often perceived as "personal" problems rather than occupational health issues. To top it all off, they tend to try and avoid complaining at work (so as not to be further penalized)... and turn all of this into increased internal worry.

Furthermore, according to the Malakoff Humanis study, female employees are increasingly worried about their household's financial situation (42% vs. 33% for men, a +7 point increase compared to 2022) and express greater concerns about the future of their children (41% vs. 33% for men, a +9 point increase compared to 2022). Inflation is another decisive factor with a strong impact on women. They earn less. They make up the majority of single-parent families (85% or so). They do most of the grocery shopping and manage the household (especially when there isn’t much money in the said household). For some, inflation is more than a mental burden; it's a chronic, painful worry in the pit of their stomach.

According to the same study, more than half of the female employees surveyed (55% vs. 45% of men) have reported experiencing psychological disorders in the past 12 months: mood disorders/depression (experienced by 30% of female employees), anxiety disorders (37%), trauma and stress-related disorders (21%), and professional exhaustion/burnout (25%).

Employers have a role to play in reducing women’s worry levels. Faced with increasing psychosocial risks, women need support from their employers. 65% of them wish to receive psychological support in case of personal or professional difficulties (compared to 57% of men). They also seek support in the event of serious illnesses (71%) and upon returning to work after a sick leave (64%, up by 6 points compared to 2022). They have the most to gain from reduced workloads, more flexibility and remote work options, and kinder management. They have the most to gain from better ergonomics.

Is there a point to worrying so much?

Worrying is a natural human response to uncertainty and potential threats. Excessive worrying is detrimental to mental and physical health but moderate levels of worry do serve some useful purposes. There are some evolutionary explanations.

In particular, worry prompts people to prepare for potential problems. It can motivate them to take action and make plans to address them. For example, worrying about money may encourage you to save and invest more (if you can). It can be a catalyst for problem-solving (if the worry is not so acute as to prevent you from thinking critically and seeking solutions to address the causes of the worry). It can also help assess risks and make better decisions. In short it serves adaptation. It enhances your ability to respond to threats and crises.

The main issue is to keep the worry at a useful, manageable level. Chronic and excessive worry (rumination) destroys health, causes insomnia and digestive problems… and is useless. This fine line between the right level of worry and the unhealthy level makes many people believe worry is always useless. Popular culture often associates it with ridicule. 

I was recently reminded of the difference between “problems” and “worries” (“les problèmes et les soucis”). Problems refer to issues that need to be resolved —concrete difficulties and obstacles that affect a person's life. They require solutions and action. Worries, on the other hand, are more related to one's mental and emotional state. They are thoughts or concerns about potential future problems or negative outcomes or things you can’t do anything about. They are often associated with anxiety and unease and may not be based on actual problems but rather on anticipated difficulties. 

This is where it gets interesting. Worries often look ahead and help prepare for the future, while problem-solving pertains to the past (the problem has already occurred). So, worry can potentially PREVENT problems! While many men pride themselves on being "problem-solvers," many women, in silence, worry about preventing problems from ever arising in the first place.

On this note, I strongly recommend the work of comic artist Emma. After popularizing the concept of the "mental load" (in this comic translated into English), she narrates in her new comic, Des lignes et des cailloux (not yet translated) "stories for those who are tired of being exploited." In this hilarious book, she explains that the so-called "mental load" allows you to "do preventive work and save time and money." Part of our invisible worry aims to prevent future troubles for household members. "But since this work anticipates problems rather than solving them... it goes unnoticed."

Could worry also be about a legacy of powerlessness?

Let’s assume for a second that worries, unlike problems, are not meant to be “solved” and are just useless rumination (because… well, sometimes, they really are useless). Could they be the expression of a legacy of relative powerlessness? If you’re not empowered to solve problems (because you lack power, money or network) all you can do is ruminate. That reminds me of  the concept of locus of control.

In case you’re not familiar with it, locus of control refers to how people perceive the causes of events in their lives. It's about where they believe the control or responsibility lies—inside themselves (internal locus of control) or outside of themselves (external locus of control). When someone has an internal locus of control, they believe that they have a significant influence over what happens to them. They think their actions, decisions, and efforts can impact outcomes. In other words, they feel in control of their own destiny.

Conversely, people with an external locus of control tend to believe that outside factors, like luck, fate, or other people, have a more dominant role in shaping their lives. They may feel that they have less control over their circumstances and that events happen to them rather than being the result of their actions. In many cultures, men have historically been encouraged to take on more assertive and active roles, which can contribute to a stronger internal locus of control while women have often been forced to remain more passive or to adapt to external circumstances, which can contribute to a more external locus of control. 

In societies where women have limited access to education, employment, and decision-making roles, they develop a more external locus of control because they have fewer opportunities to exert control over their lives. If you can’t solve problems because you’re not empowered to, then all you can do is worry! It’s a reflection of your relative powerlessness (and the perception of your powerlessness).

A word of conclusion

The pervasive, gut-wrenching worries experienced by many women are deeply intertwined with a lot of the perils we face today. From the threats of global warming to the mental health crisis, women often find themselves at the forefront. They bear the responsibility for the health and well-being of others in numerous facets of life, both at home and in the workplace. Sometimes their worrying has the power to prevent further troubles. Sometimes their powerlessness makes their worrying useless and toxic.

In essence, women's worries are not merely individual experiences. They are reflections of structural issues that demand attention, support, and action on a broader scale. They involve our handling of the climate crisis as well as the infrastructure of care we need as a society. It’s not just a matter of gender equality; it’s about everybody’s future.

💡Check out the latest article in French I wrote for Welcome to the Jungle: Semaine de 4 jours : soutien ou frein à l’égalité hommes-femmes ?

💡 I also wrote this article for Vives Média: Et toi, tu gagnes combien ? La transparence : un coup de pouce pour l’égalité salariale

🎙️ The latest episode of my Nouveau Départ podcast are: Faut-il être jeune pour innover ? 🎧 (in 🇫🇷)

🎙️ I recorded this podcast with TrenchTech: Futur du travail ou travail du turfu ? 🎧 ; an episode of Karine Arneodo’s podcast, 50 ans et toutes mes dents: Libérer son ambition à 40 ans 🎧 ; an episode of Enquête d’avenir: Travaillerons-nous encore demain ? 🎧 (in 🇫🇷)

Miscellaneous

⚕️ Women drop $15 billion more annually on medical expenses than men. How employers can fix the covert health insurance ‘pink tax’, Erin Prater, Fortune, September 2023: “Men and women pay the same price for insurance premiums. But women fork over $15 billion more annually for out-of-pocket medical expenses like copays and deductibles, the report asserts—pregnancy costs aside. The result: a covert “pink tax,” a colloquial term that refers to the higher price women pay for the exact same product as men—be it disposable razors, laxatives, children’s bike helmets, or health insurance.”

👹 C.E.O.s Don’t Need to Be Monsters, Jessica Grose, The New York Times, September 2023: “Perhaps if we see fewer hagiographies about male executives and tycoons, we might begin to hold them to the same standards we seem to hold female captains of industry to. We shouldn’t continue to accept the fiction that there’s some mystical correlation between being a great leader or highly successful in business and being mercurial or an outright brute.”

🧑‍💻 Who (And Where) Are Today’s Innovators?, European Straits #242, Nicolas Colin, September 2023: “In essence, young nerds aren't necessarily more innovative because of their age, but rather due to their higher mobility, which allows them the freedom to move to areas where they can connect with fellow nerds. It's still an age-related factor (given that mobility tends to be associated with youth, as I can personally attest), but it's not tied to the biological aspect of age. A thought-provoking takeaway emerges: by enhancing the mobility of older nerds, it's possible to offset the demographic decline among younger nerds and its negative impact (per Zeihan) on innovation.”

Try to worry less on your own! Let’s worry together! 😉 🤗