Leaving Germany: 3 things I’ll miss / 3 things I won’t miss about Germany

Laetitia@Work #72

Hi everyone,

Two weeks ago I moved from Bavaria, Germany back to France. After nearly 10 years abroad, going “back” doesn’t feel easy. I’ll miss being a foreigner. I know this might sound strange to people who haven’t lived in different countries, but it’s provided me with a safe distance and allowed me to be less affected by life’s annoyances. I could just use my “anthropological” lens and blame everything on cultural differences. I won’t have cultural differences to blame now. How inconvenient.

Moving is often listed as one of the 5 most traumatic events in life, “the third most stressful event, after the death of a loved one and divorce”. For our children, who spent the last few years building friendships and overcoming their second cultural shock (first from France to England and then from England to Germany), there’s certainly some trauma involved. For us parents, there’s mostly the (great) hassle of moving from one country to another— there’s a lot of paperwork (we had to create another company and we’ll have to manage double the paperwork for at least one fiscal year), a lot of expenses and a lot of stress and hard work. 

But for us living in Germany has been like fighting with a sword in our left hand for years (as right-handed people), and now finally being able to switch to our right hand—everything suddenly feels easier. With this move, there’s no stress associated with losing what’s familiar and comfortable because we’ve never really managed to make our life in Germany easy and comfortable. In short, we’re not very sad to leave.

A few days after unpacking the last boxes, making our apartment somewhat livable, and just as I'm about to take a few well-deserved days off, I'd like to take a moment to reflect. As a sort of ritual for a smoother transition, I want to make a small (personal and not comprehensive) list of 3 things I'll miss and 3 things I won't miss about Germany 🍻👇

Things I’ll miss about Germany

#1 Reusable bottles

The Germans dislike waste. As traditionalists, they also don’t like to abandon systems that work. That’s why, unlike the French or the English, they never gave up on reusing glass bottles. People buy their drinks (sparkling water, beer) by the crate at the Getränkemarkt. The glass bottles are sturdy, thick, returnable and reused. You bring back the crates of empty bottles, get your deposit back, and pick up full crates. It may seem trivial, but it’s not. How absurd it is to buy plastic bottles only to add to the ocean of waste! And why “recycle” when you can reuse? More generally, the idea that things should last is deeply rooted in German culture. Of course, the throwaway culture and shortage of labour have caused some damage in Germany as well. But when it comes to beer and sparkling water bottles, I’m really going to miss the German system. In France, a few eco-friendly entrepreneurs are trying to reintroduce the idea that bottles and jars can be reused... but the system isn’t mainstream.

Recycling is one option, but plastic recycling is a knotty and unresolved issue. Besides, the European hierarchy of waste has put prevention and reuse above recycling since 2008. But campaigners say rules to reduce packaging are riddled with loopholes – and are calling not just for tighter regulations, but also a culture shift.

“The best packaging is the one you don’t produce,” says Nathan Dufour, who leads efforts to promote reuse systems at the campaign group Zero Waste Europe. If you need to use it – for hygiene reasons, say – “then that packaging needs to stay in the loop for as long as possible”.

Germany has a head start on many of its neighbours with its bottle deposit schemes, in which customers are charged a bit more upfront for their purchase – whether fancy juice from an organic store or cheap beer from an off-licence – and given the money back when they return the empty glass. The bottles, which get dropped off in “reverse vending machines” in supermarkets, are then transported, cleaned and refilled. (The Guardian)

#2 Spas and the Freie Körper Kultur

While sauna culture is often (and rightly) associated with Scandinavian countries, it’s also deeply ingrained in much of Germany. Saunas and steam baths are common, affordable, and easily accessible. People of all ages gather there, completely naked, without any fuss. Clothes and smartphones are strictly prohibited. Few things have provided us with more well-being than the simple ritual of visiting the spa. After the initial moments of embarrassment, you begin to appreciate being part of the human species in all its physical diversity. Big, thin, short, tall, athletic, not athletic, hairy, not hairy—every body is welcome, and no one is judged. There’s no sexual gazing, which is incredibly liberating. Being naked without any sexual connotation is a truly freeing experience. In contrast, the French tend to have a more complicated relationship with nudity (not as much as the Americans, but far more than the Germans).

In short, when it comes to body perception, the key difference between Germans and the French is this:

• The French strive to control and hide their bodies to be more attractive;

• The Germans aim to understand and accept their bodies to live better.

I’m really going to miss the German approach.

#3 Nature in the City

Garden culture is often more closely associated with Great Britain, and indeed, the beauty of English gardens is unbeatable. However, Germans also excel in gardening. It’s a widespread and popular thing everywhere. While gardening in England might seem almost aristocratic, in Germany it’s a common interest shared by everyone. Architects and designers integrate greenery everywhere. Public spaces are wooded, and cemeteries are pleasant walking areas. There’s a belief that everyone needs access to greenery, and many communal spaces are accessible havens. 

Case in point: the German community gardens (Schrebergärten) are a cherished tradition with roots in both East and West Germany. These gardens offer individuals and families the opportunity to cultivate their own small plots of land, often in urban areas. This tradition was particularly strong in the former East Germany (GDR) where the state supported these gardens as a way to enhance urban living conditions and provide a means for citizens to grow their own food. In West Germany, community gardens have been popular since the late 19th century, originating from the urban gardening movement, initially a response to industrialization and urbanization, aimed at providing city dwellers with a connection to nature.

In comparison, a city like Paris (a mineral city with minimal greenery) offers its residents very limited access to nature. Other French cities do better, but on average, there’s a significant cultural difference between France and Germany when it comes to integrating nature into urban environments.

Things I won’t miss about Germany

Honestly, these things are the main reasons why I eventually decided to leave Germany. They aren’t just mild annoyances.

#1 Bureaucracy and a total lack of digitalization 

Germany pioneered modern bureaucracy in the 19th century but it has made scant progress in modernizing these systems since then. 

(A bit of history) Prussian bureaucracy is historically significant for its pioneering role in shaping modern administrative systems. In the 19th century, Prussia developed a highly structured and efficient bureaucratic framework characterized by a clear hierarchical organization, detailed regulations, and a professional civil service. This model emphasized merit-based appointments and systematic procedures, laying the foundation for contemporary bureaucratic practices. The Prussian approach to governance influenced the broader development of administrative systems in Europe and beyond, serving as a prototype for modern state administration and contributing significantly to the theory and practice of bureaucracy.

But today, German bureaucracy is outdated, very very slow, inefficient, and lacking in modernization. Digital procedures are scarce. Setting up a business for example is a lengthy and arduous process. Notaries and lawyers, who profit from these bureaucratic hurdles, have little incentive to embrace digital solutions. To establish our company—a GmbH, akin to a limited liability company (LLC)—we had to sit in the notary’s office while he read aloud, in German, all the statutes of the company. When we needed to change the company’s address upon departure, we spent two hours stuck in traffic just to sign a single piece of paper. Secure online document signing services are infrequently used, if at all (at least not by notaries).

The tax administration is efficient at freezing the accounts of those deemed to be non-payers, but rectifying errors is another story. For tax returns, even people who aren’t super rich need to hire a tax advisor (Steuerberater: yet another group with a vested interest in keeping things complicated). Even to receive universal benefits (like Kindergeld), one must submit a dossier of hundreds of pages with every conceivable piece of information. Nothing is available in English, and very little is digitalized. Emails often go unanswered: you have to call and wait and wait, and call again. When digital tools are employed, they tend to be poorly designed with frustrating limitations.

In summary, our experience with German bureaucracy has been a source of continuous irritation. Our years in Britain had accustomed us to relative simplicity and a well-established service culture. The adjustment to Germany was a painful shock. Our numerous struggles with German administration and bureaucracy—challenges more common for foreigners—added considerable hardship to our time there. Moreover, the bureaucratic staff was unfriendly and unsmiling, convinced that their rigid methods were the only correct approach and that things must be done as they always have been.

#2 German trains, roads and infrastructures

In the 19th and 20th centuries, Germany could boast one of the most extensive and efficient railway networks in the world. Today, this network remains dense and complex, connecting numerous small, medium, and large cities. It would be disingenuous to compare this network to France’s radial system, which primarily links cities to Paris and less so to each other. But despite its historical significance, the Deutsche Bahn (DB) is now indefensible. They are far too unreliable.

My experiences over the past four years (hundreds of trips) illustrate this decline: half of the trains I took arrived late, I missed connections more than one third of the time, and far too many trains were simply cancelled. Frequently, I traveled without a seat and spent countless hours waiting on grim, cold platforms. The unpredictability of train schedules forced me to always plan for a 24-hour buffer, resulting in significant costs for hotels and extended separation from family. The frequency of issues with train travel in Germany has become absurd.

European football fans experienced this firsthand during the UEFA European Championship this year, leading to a New York Times article on Deutsche Bahn's failures. It was satisfying for me to see global media coverage of DB’s disaster, as many people had previously dismissed my complaints.

as fans have flooded into Germany to follow their teams, the country’s rail networks have creaked. Even before the tournament started on June 14, staff members from the Munich transport authority had been dispatched to hand out ice pops to overheated travelers stuck for hours on stalled trains around the city. (...)

Long-distance trains — offered to fans at a reduced rate — have been equally unpredictable. Germany’s rail network covers over 20,000 miles. But roughly half that length of track has been torn up in the past 70 years, leaving existing routes overloaded as demand for both cargo and passenger transportation has increased.

Late arrivals of one train have a knock-on effect for others, leading to widespread delays across the entire system. Only 63 percent of the system’s trains reached their destination on time last month, according to Deutsche Bahn. That compares with more than 94 percent punctuality in neighboring Austria and 87 percent in France. (New York Times)

More broadly, German infrastructure is in a state of severe neglect. For over 30 years, there has been inadequate investment and renovation. Highways and railways are perpetually "under construction"—in reality, lanes are blocked with minimal actual work being done. Despite theoretical unlimited speed limits on highways, one often spends hours crawling at 20 km/h, day or night, anywhere in the country.

Germany’s reluctance to invest in infrastructure, viewing such expenditures as wasteful, has eroded what once was its strength. Public infrastructure, including roads, bridges, and schools, is now severely lagging. The decline of these infrastructures is a significant economic disaster: it translates to millions of lost working hours, missed appointments, uncompleted deals, missed events, undelivered goods, and workers absent due to transportation issues. This inefficiency translates to lower GDP. I wish I could quantify it with precision. 

#3 The lack of service and its impact on work

In Germany, the shortage of labour, particularly in the service sector, is strikingly evident. It’s particularly bad when it comes to services such as housekeepers and nannies, as well as in restaurants where there is a noticeable lack of servers. During our time living in the suburbs of Munich, we struggled to find a cleaning person, for example. Had we had young children, finding childcare would have been a significant challenge.

The root causes of this shortage go beyond the issue of population ageing; there is also a cultural aspect that does not sufficiently support women in the workforce. Schools and daycare facilities often close early in the day. Many services stop operating in the afternoon. This lack of support structures makes it difficult for mothers to work full-time. Consequently, women are frequently employed in part-time service jobs to balance their work with family responsibilities, filling roles that are not fully supported by existing services.

Our experience in Germany highlighted a life with little convenience. Administrative tasks are time-consuming, and small luxuries like dining out are both expensive and often of poor quality. Restaurant service is slow, and meals are frequently overpriced and mediocre. All this forces individuals to spend more time managing household responsibilities, which in turn affects their ability to work full-time. The cycle perpetuates itself: women work part-time because the support systems are inadequate. They work part-time because other women work part-time.

This situation has broader implications. The lack of infrastructure and support for working mothers exacerbates a persistent gender gap in the workforce. 

Also read: How Germany punishes mothers. Laetitia@Work #40

🚀 📣 Caroline Taconet, Katerina Zekopoulos and I have released 2 new episodes of our podcast Vieilles en puissance, at the intersection of three themes: age, money, and women (in French).

The 9th episode, with Catherine Barba: Entrepreneures : apprenez à vendre comme vous respirez ! 🎧

The 10th episode, with Rose-Myrlie Joseph : Qui prend soin des travailleuses du soin ?

👉 SUBSCRIBE NOW TO THE VIEILLES EN PUISSANCE NEWSLETTER!

---

💡Check out the latest articles I wrote for Welcome to the Jungle: Can companies avoid a brain drain as retirements surge? (in English), Management : quand la transparence radicale vire à la tyrannie, Salaire décent : la politique salariale la plus “juste” ? (in French).

Miscellaneous

📚 In her memoir Free. Coming of Age at the End of History, Lea Ypi reflects on her upbringing in communist Albania and the years of “transition” that followed. The sudden collapse of the regime in 1990 brought both newfound freedoms and deep turmoil, as economic collapse and violent conflict ensued. Ypi explores the gap between ideological promises and harsh realities. Through sharp insight and humour, she recounts her journey from a life under oppressive rule to becoming a political theory professor at the London School of Economics, all while questioning the true meaning of freedom in a world fraught with contradictions. I loved the book and I recommend it!

Time to drink a beer & chill 🍻 These are 2 other things the Germans are truly good at (making beer, including alcohol-free, and drinking it) 🤗